DEAR ABBY: My oldest daughter, “Heather,” has began her senior 12 months of highschool. She’s typically indignant and confrontational with my husband and me.
We’ve realized to stay impartial and never react to her makes an attempt to select fights. Nonetheless, we’ve got two youthful daughters, 15 and 9. We discovered that Heather typically swears at them and calls them the B-word — and typically worse. Sadly, it’s one thing I hear about lengthy after it’s occurred.
My youthful women have witnessed her swear at us, too.
Heather will probably be 18 in a few weeks, and, frankly, we’re prepared for her to maneuver out as soon as she will get her diploma. Till then, how would you deal with this case?
TIRED OF THE LANGUAGE
DEAR TIRED: Speak to your daughter! Why is she indignant and disrespectful to you and your husband? Does Heather have emotional points? If that’s the case, what has induced them?
Upon getting some solutions, you and your husband can get your daughter skilled assist if she wants it. Within the meantime, inform Heather you don’t just like the angle she has been displaying and also you need it stopped instantly. Make plain that if her dangerous conduct continues, there will probably be “penalties,” after which, if it does, comply with by way of.
DEAR ABBY: Once I discovered just a few months in the past that my husband of 24 years had been having affairs with a number of males, it devastated me.
I’ve gone to counseling to attempt to take care of the ache and melancholy I now undergo from. He’s in counseling for himself as properly, and we’re additionally in couple’s counseling to see if our marriage is salvageable.
He tells me it has nothing to do with me however extra about his want for consideration, and that he didn’t really feel it was dishonest as a result of it wasn’t with one other lady. The issue is, he did this for
I’m not in love with him — and sure, I did love him greater than life itself. I really feel I would like to finish our marriage as a result of I’ll by no means have the ability to belief him once more, and I’ll by no means be sufficient for him.
I’m battling guilt about it. He cries after I inform him I’m finished, which makes me really feel terrible. How can I make it simpler for each of us?
DEVASTATED BEYOND WORDS
DEAR DEVASTATED: That will not be potential, and you are to not blame for what occurred. When you settle for that reality, you might start to really feel much less responsible.
Married males don’t have interaction in affairs with different males as a result of they aren’t getting sufficient consideration from their wives. Whether or not your husband is a deeply closeted homosexual man or bisexual is anybody’s guess. However he selected to cheat on you.
Bisexual individuals (of each sexes) in dedicated relationships stay devoted — which he wasn’t for six years. Preserve that in thoughts while you inform him (once more) that you’re finished, then hand him some tissues and name your lawyer.